I’ve had a pretty memorable life, and I’m not finished yet. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve been successful. I’ve had very tough times. I’ve faced near-death situations and serious health challenges a few times. I’ve been on the top and on the bottom. And I’ve endured through it all quite well, in spirituality and in life-awareness.
That is the backdrop to what the poem and video Ashes is all about. …The poem and video that I present in this post.
Obviously, I use the word ashes figuratively. It represents the ruins that I had to dig through to discern that the transformative journey that I traveled was ultimately a blessing.
I authored this poem years ago and decided to turn it into a video just recently. I wanted to convey the message visually. In the video, I am conveying my life journey, as well as the undoubtedly tough journeys of others, whose lives were transformed by difficult circumstances.
I’ve got a story to tell. I’ve mentioned it over the years in my blog, starting out with the series entitled, Terror on the Caregiver.
It is about how I am left feeling betrayed by my siblings and other family members, as I earnestly served as my mother’s sole caregiver, until her ascension. It is a very painful story to tell, even nearly 10 years after the rivalry began.
I often stop, then start writing. That’s because writing the story hurts me. I recently hinted at this back and forth feeling in the post Maybe Is the Theme, dated February 1, 2022. Each time I make substantial progress, I uncover yet another level of emotions, going through transformative experiences, examining myself, and trying to understand how God works each time.
I stumbled on a couple of poems that I originally wrote years ago. One is entitled,‘Maybe’, the other, ‘Audacious Wisdom’.
In these writings, I am questioning myself, and my purpose through God’s eyes. I wasn’t looking for the poems. I stumbled on them. I literally have close to a thousand or more bodies of work. But recently finding them was right on time for what’s going on in our world and with me, right now.
Recently, I have been again encouraged to author a book, memoir, or screenplay on my story. I really want to, and know that I can, but I haven’t completed several in-progress projects. Though I’ve started many and have created bits and pieces over the years, I’ve never compiled or finalized anything.
I’ve written a great deal, enough for more than just one book, maybe about six! But still, I have not assembled what has been written, never completing the projects. I have started several videos, much the same way. I want to complete them, but often I feel uncertain about doing so. Years ago, I vowed to never venture into anything new without really feeling it in my spirit. I feel these projects in my spirit, but not strong enough yet.
About writing, and about life in general, I have been asking myself, ’Maybe?’ quite often.
Many years ago, I recognized the importance of maintaining a peaceful state of mind. That’s likely because my life has always been dynamic, intense, and bursting with passion, since birth, I’ve experienced, and been told.
Over 30 years ago, I began a ‘deep dive’ into my own spirituality. This exploration was a personal one, whereby I sought to establish a relationship between me and God. …A really close one, with no one in between, for no one seemed True. I did not want the layer of religion or the church between us, though.
I respect religion and the church, but I put them in proper perspective, with regard to spirituality. I’ve found that religions and churches often deviate from what should be their main focus, addressing other priorities, such as tiding, fundraising, televangelism, and social media. …popularity, materialism, etc.
They do a get deal of charity ministries as well. It’s not directly their fault, but the sources of their funding, contribute to making poverty and inequity comfortable, instead of working to totally eliminate it, making those that they help self-sufficient.
Generally speaking, they continue such ministries, foundations and governments keep funding their causes, people keep receiving, but their long-term status remains the same.
Though these efforts may be well-intentioned spiritually, they impeded the closeness that I needed to have with the God of my understanding. I seek, still today, enlightenment. Beyond wisdom and faith, I want to be immersed in the spirit of God.
Furthermore, I wanted to shape the image of the God of my understanding. God bestowed me with this free will. I wanted to use this blessing to see God as I wanted to based on my journey, failures, triumphs, and ever-evolving wisdom.
I longed to see the God in me, and in every living creature. I longed to experience a multidimensional sensee of God, not a one-dimensional one.
I remember, in early 2000, when participating in an exercise that Minister Rev. Barry Vennard, of Unity Church, asked participants, in a Unity Church spiritual workshop to do. This exercise still sticks with me today.
Minister Vennard asked all participants to close their eyes and imagine God as they would like him to be. He asked that we imagine how he would be towards us? Would he judge us? How would he treat us when we made mistakes? What would he say about our pain, mistakes, defeats, and victories? How would he encourage us through our trials? …And so on and so forth.
I apologize to Dr. Bob Rich (Bob) for the delay in posting this article. It was submitted to me weeks ago, and outside of a busy schedule, my spirit has been a bit fragile.
Like many I would suppose, I have been emotionally and spiritually impacted by the whirlwind of challenges and changes that planet Earth and civilization have been catapulted into enduring over the past year. I have been significantly enlightened by how your challenges have separated us along many fronts including racially, politically, spiritually, and “vaccine vs. no vaccine”.
Today’s divisions seem to pale in comparison with historical ones. I have separated from many spirits vibes, and energies that no longer serve me, some in my family, some close friends. In today’s times, I find it necessary.
Gaining a better understanding of God, Life, and Myself is an undeniable blessing. But it is also a challenging responsibility. It can be draining at times and requires an escape from it all, as well as regular metaphysical practices. Kevy
Furthermore, while in this fragile state, I read Bob’s essay on God’s Puppets. It really threw me off track for weeks. I read it about four times. I used AI to convert it to Australian speech so that I could listen to it and pause it occasionally to reflect and absorb. By the way, Dr. Bob Rich is Australian.
Real Talk On Family Betrayal – Don’t Believe Those Closest To You Won’t Deceive You
This post is deeply personal.
It made me the convicted man that I am today. The experience of solely caring for my mother to the disdainful evil undermining of my siblings, extended family, friends and their cohorts molded me.
It spiritually transformed me.
It revealed to me the existence of fake-faithful and evil in my inner circle. It revealed who I am, and who I’m not.
It taught me that race doesn’t really matter though we’ve built our civilization around this man-made invention. “Only spirit matters.” ~ Kevy
Caring for my mother in the latter years of her 96 years on earth broke me, then rebuilt me.
Though it nearly killed me, and caused me to lose nearly everything I’d owned, I never relented in my obligation to my mother, and to God.
I created the Seasons As My Teacher blog after years of grieving and regaining my health. In response, I was led to write about how this experience changed me. Betrayal and deception ultimately became wisdom and discernment. ~ Kevy “It was like poison that turned to medicine.” – Tina Turner
To exemplify further that I give equal time to the races, I am open to say that theterrorthat I and my mother experienced was done by Black people.
There is plenty of evil in the Black race, and in my family. …In all races, though perhaps not institutionalized.
Ironically, nearly everyone who came to our aid during my mother and my trials wasn’t Black or family.
Repeatedly, God sent angels to us who were often White or Latino, some that we did not know.
This is a kick-start to old and new posts on Terror on the Caregiver, to be ultimately be retitled to Fighting Over Momma.
It will be presented in a series of posts over time, just as is 7 Days 7+ Quotes, Devirusize, Seven Spiritual Laws,andPoetrimony series.
“Lil Eunice, I still love you….even more.” ~ Kevy
Original Post – July 2018
I was raised Catholic. My mother was devout. As a result, I know a whole lot about the importance of prayer and faith, but not much about the bible.
I can’t recite stories or verses off of the top of my head, like holy rollers.
But that doesn’t bother me. I don’t need a facade of ‘the word‘ to deflect from my true spirit, my true essence.
My sincerity exudes on its own. My spirituality is more organic, gained through life’s trials.
I follow no rules because rules are written in a book. Those rules are written on my heart.
I simply follow the spirit of God within me, and later find that there was a spiritual law for that.
“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.” – Tennessee Williams
I promised to share my eclectic music tastes with you. I love electronic rock, especially from Europe.
Depeche Mode has to be one of my all-time favorite groups. I love their Euro industrial electronic rock sound., But more than that, I love that their messages, so bold and so raw. The messages resonate with me.
I’ve been a big fan of Depeche Mode. I think their 1st album was Construction Time Again. I love almost every song on that album. I’ve been into Depeche Mode for a long time but recently, I guess because of my membership in Spotify, YT Music, and Pandora, as well as other music streaming services, I stumble on old songs that I used to love, that I almost forgot about.
I don’t listen to new music much at all. Anyway, there is a remarkably interesting story behind me rediscovering how much I love Depeche Mode.
If you have reviewed at least a few of my over 200 blog posts (and now podcasts) you would clearly know that I am not a big fan of organized religion.
Like many people, I have adopted the position of being spiritual, but not religious. At times, I despise religion. …Too much drama. I am amazingly comfortable with my position until I am changed in mind (through experience and research) and spirit (through God’s intervention).
In this post, I reveal 15+ reasons why I shy away from Religion and Religious Drama. Some of the most negative experiences that I’ve had were with Religious people. …Ones who judge about what I would call minor sins such as using profanity, eating pork, or being too proud, while they blatantly violate in worst ways.
As I am judged by them, I could think of a plethora of violations that they make, “In the name of Jesus/Allah”. I don’t tell them directly. I tell them in general through my creative, written, and media works. But I admit that it is a bit frustrating.
I try my best to stay clear of these types of people, though they seem to be drawn to me. I simply respect their beliefs (for them) but fully exercise my right to free will and thought. They spit on me with scripture, while I realize that the bible has 900 versions, and the Quran has 30. I consider that there are missing books, slavery’s influence, and man’s interpretation, depriving me of mine. I am not sure that they realize this.