I’ve had a pretty memorable life, and I’m not finished yet. I don’t say that lightly. I’ve been successful. I’ve had very tough times. I’ve faced near-death situations and serious health challenges a few times. I’ve been on the top and on the bottom. And I’ve endured through it all quite well, in spirituality and in life-awareness.
That is the backdrop to what the poem and video Ashes is all about. …The poem and video that I present in this post.
Obviously, I use the word ashes figuratively. It represents the ruins that I had to dig through to discern that the transformative journey that I traveled was ultimately a blessing.
I authored this poem years ago and decided to turn it into a video just recently. I wanted to convey the message visually. In the video, I am conveying my life journey, as well as the undoubtedly tough journeys of others, whose lives were transformed by difficult circumstances.
I’ve got a story to tell. I’ve mentioned it over the years in my blog, starting out with the series entitled, Terror on the Caregiver.
It is about how I am left feeling betrayed by my siblings and other family members, as I earnestly served as my mother’s sole caregiver, until her ascension. It is a very painful story to tell, even nearly 10 years after the rivalry began.
I often stop, then start writing. That’s because writing the story hurts me. I recently hinted at this back and forth feeling in the post Maybe Is the Theme, dated February 1, 2022. Each time I make substantial progress, I uncover yet another level of emotions, going through transformative experiences, examining myself, and trying to understand how God works each time.
I stumbled on a couple of poems that I originally wrote years ago. One is entitled,‘Maybe’, the other, ‘Audacious Wisdom’.
In these writings, I am questioning myself, and my purpose through God’s eyes. I wasn’t looking for the poems. I stumbled on them. I literally have close to a thousand or more bodies of work. But recently finding them was right on time for what’s going on in our world and with me, right now.
Recently, I have been again encouraged to author a book, memoir, or screenplay on my story. I really want to, and know that I can, but I haven’t completed several in-progress projects. Though I’ve started many and have created bits and pieces over the years, I’ve never compiled or finalized anything.
I’ve written a great deal, enough for more than just one book, maybe about six! But still, I have not assembled what has been written, never completing the projects. I have started several videos, much the same way. I want to complete them, but often I feel uncertain about doing so. Years ago, I vowed to never venture into anything new without really feeling it in my spirit. I feel these projects in my spirit, but not strong enough yet.
About writing, and about life in general, I have been asking myself, ’Maybe?’ quite often.
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss “Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,” – Philippians 3:13
Forgiving and forgetting are wise practices to exercise, as we are now in the new year of 2022.
Audio Comments On Forgiving & Forgetting The Past
This year promises to be a year of things moving extremely fast. Master Sri Akarshana refers to 2022 as the Quantum Leap year where everything, for and against our greatest good, will be moving rapidly, in health, wealth, and relationships.
So, we must be aware of the energies that surround us, and we, therefore, have no time to be absorbed into past pains. I say that we must forgive those pains, but remember, not forget, what caused them.
We must especially use lessons we learned from the past in the energy-dynamic environment that 2022 promises to be.
Master Sri Akarshana’s Predictions for 2022, explains that in 2022, things will be sped up and we will react in one of three ways, Quantum Leaping Forward, being the best:
Quantum Leap Backwards
Wait It Out – Hoping Only but doing nothing
Quantum Leaping Forward
Check out his video first, to understand the context in which I offer my reflections on Forgiving and Forgetting.
I love this time of year because it is a time of reflection, but for me, it triggers a deeper self-reflection, as it has for me for the last, I would say 30 or more years.
I just celebrated my birthday on January 5th, just a few days ago. With my birthday landing right after Christmas and New Year’s, I began soul searching around Christmas time, while everyone else seemed to be shopping and celebrating. As I mentioned, my holiday season celebrations are spent mostly alone and in nature, as was my birthday “celebration.”
I love the beginning and end of each year. As would be expected, at the end of the year, I usually aim to end a behavior, habit, relationship, or end an unhealthy lifestyle practice. At the beginning of the year, I reflect on how I will adapt to the change in era, time, and vibration. …Or changes in me. I try not to superimpose the prior year on the new year, just as I see ‘every day as a clean slate’. It is a given for me that the new year must be different in some way.
In this year, 2022, I have already accepted that “normal” no longer exists and will never return. I feel more certain that in 2022 I will not be trying to convince others who are on a whole different vibe than I am. I will be trying to connect more with others who are already on or near the vibe where I reside.
I have met such high-vibers through the Seasons as My Teacher blog. I love how blogging allows us to connect with other like-minded people, who have the passion to write, and read posts. It takes a certain calmness to take the time to do so juxtaposed with fast-paced social media.
“Courage is not just plunging in when you don’t know the way, it is plunging in and being okay with not knowing the way.” – Kevy Michaels
I’m not one to bite my tongue when it comes to expressing how I feel. But that’s because today I have courage. I didn’t always have courage. In the past, my fears were really centered around being accepted by others, having low self-esteem, and not being confident in myself. I spent a great deal of my life trying to please others. Because of that fear, and not having courage, I made my life quite miserable. I made many mistakes. But, even in those mistakes, I’m so grateful. Because, that’s why I have the courage today, and I can speak up.
