At the seeming climax of many of my trials, I tend to experience vivid emotions of worry and fear, just like the next person. I am not immune to any human emotions. I have been an emotional animal at times, that an insensitive person couldn’t tolerate.
But, big but, I pride myself in managing human disappointment, pain, grieving, anger, and resentment.
I credit my abilities to manage the things that humans go through to mediation, prayer also. But I do tend to meditate more than I pray. I practice a form of Prayer-Meditation, whereby I put the intention of my prayers in the air by merely thinking about them. And, in so doing, I am praying much the same as speaking them.
A few weeks ago, I was seriously worried about my sustainability, finances, security, and safety. I was worried, but should not have been.
I was not guilty of anything, but the enemy had we worried as though I was. As most people would do, I worried and even cried at what I imagined was coming down on me, just as a huge boulder rolling down a hill.
For a few days, I had the image of a boulder at the top of a mountain, headed straight for me below, in my head. It would not go away.
Sometimes my writings are based on imaginary visions. Well, I imagined this image for days, without writing anything about it, though I knew that I would.
Needless to say, I evolved through my legal battles to totally surrendering to The Lord, but first I surrendered wasted tears to those ‘close to me’, who proved to really not want to be bothered.
…And, most importantly, to the Lord. I was so stricken with fear that I knew that only the holy spirit would save me from my perceived fears.
It was all my perception, but that alone is what made it real.
I surrendered and cried to The Lord. Once I did it, I wrote a note to the Lord. It is below.
Once I did it, I no longer bore shame or bashfulness about having cried to others who did not care.
I can’t really describe how reviving the cries were to me.
It was almost ceremonial in that once the tears were gone, I felt courageous. Later, I would become victorious.
That was also my perception, and that alone is what made it real.
At the past few months’ most transformative moment, I realized the power of the mind in creating and vividly imagining fear into existence.
When faced with a battle that I could not win alone, I imagined a horror movie that I had to prevent from occurring. The more I was clueless about preventing the inevitable, the more inevitable imaginary horror movie became vivid.
This experience was worth bringing me near the edge of the cliff of fear. But at the edge of the cliff, I closed my eyes and surrendered. When I opened them again, I was still on firm ground, standing even firmer.
My fear was imagined, so I simply unimagined it by replacing it with a new imagination of victory and triumph. I simply vaporized the fear, once I accepted that I was flowing with wherever divine spirit was leading me.
During this, and other trials, I also learned that I was partly responsible for the trials themselves, that I must continue to fight and endure.
I chose the road on which I travel. I choose to express my life as I do, which since it is a bit against the grain, will always draw controversy.
But in a deeper reflection, I learned that I ‘ordered’ trials.
I ordered adversity and spiritual wars from which I must gain the Knowledge optimal for me to serve The Lord’s will, as I pray that he will someday reveal to me.
When I asked for The Lord to ‘use me’, I ordered the trials necessary for me to be worthy to fulfill the desired role.
I did not only asked for the destination; I requested the full journey.
WITH THIS NOTE
I APPRECIATE THAT U
ALLOWED ME 2 GO OUT
ON MY OWN
PERHAPS U KNEW
THAT I WOULD
COME BACK 2 U
PERHAPS YOU KNEW THAT
THE WORLD WOULD
TRY 2 INSTILL
UNTIL I’D FIND U
IN MY HEART, THOUGH
IN A QUIET PLACE
WHERE I WRITE
THIS SIMPLE NOTE
GIVING MY LIFE 2 U
Exhausted from my
Blocked the sun
So I stopped there
…To take a rest
Fell into a deep trance
Lifted as a feather
And had been
On the ground
…No one around
In the palms of
…Made me laugh
Greeted paradise with
A banana split
But had to get
Back on the road
Though I could
Stayed there for a
Turned my body
To the other side
To greet the Sun
And just to
I became startled
Ten times my size
That was Rapidly…
I ran like a cheetah
While the mountain
Tried to push me
Closer to razor’s edge
I was really frightened
On a hundred-story ledge
A thought just
Popped into my head
When I noticed
Of an old tree trunk
I dragged it across the road
Then prayed that
The big rock
A Big jump
…it worked out as I thought!
There was radiance
Over the valley
All the way down
That Ferocious Rock
Was not the same
It was all
My mind saw death
…Not The Universe
Though my head was sure
I’d be dead
I never imagined
That it could be
Light my path
…I would have never imagined
That I was that
Troubled by Fear? Just Change Your Channel! – Sadhguru – Published on Nov 23, 2014
Sadhguru looks at the nature of fear and answers a question on how to overcome fear. He explains how fear arises because of excessive imagination. Instead of producing “horror movies” in our mind, produce a comedy, a love story or a suspense thriller, he says.
How to Detach from the Outcome and Let the Universe Do Her Thing – GabrielleBernstein – Published on Sep 12, 2015
Do you try to control situations and force the outcome you want? Learn how to detach from the outcome and trust in the Universe!
FEAR IS NOT REAL – anxietycentre – Published on Oct 28, 2015
A clip from the movie “After Earth” resonates with our view of anxiety and fear. They are not real in the sense that they are material or tangible. Fear and anxiety are ‘states of mind.’ In other words, imaginary. As such, we can eliminate them by changing behavior.
What is F.E.A.R. | How to get past the imaginary! – Stay Ready Johnson – Published on Aug 25, 2017
WHAT IS FEAR? Fear is false evidence that appears real in your mind. You can’t let the imaginary stop your reality. Whatever it is that you what to do, do it afraid. Only YOU can stop YOU. Your FAITH has to be stronger than your fears. Fear and faith cannot coexist. One will push the other out. Which one wins is up to YOU.
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