Reconciling Creativity
I’m not sure if you realize how much work goes into my blog posts.
My fellow bloggers may understand. I can spend anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours on one post, including performing the necessary research.
Keeping my blog-spot fresh and active takes lots of work. It has pulled me away from poetry.
My poetry tends to be spontaneous. I write about what comes to mind, on any given day.
Since emotions and spirit constant change, I have been able to poetically express nearly every sentiment I’ve had. This is helpful for blog posts, because almost any topic I select, I can usually find a corresponding poem that I’ve written.
But, the blog has made it challenging to be loyal to creating new poems, though I have created a few.
I have regularly participated in writing workshops, in person, and on-line. Attending the workshops are helpful because I learn of new techniques and enjoy fellowship with other writers, most who are, like me, all too familiar with hard times, and enjoy writing about it. Often I use writing exercise poems, further developing and adding then to my collection.
The writing workshops catapulted me into starting a blog years ago.
In the workshops we are given a technique and topic, on which we are to write on, in a matter of minutes.
The talent that others share, in their exercise writings, is amazing! I too have created impressive works under the pressure of timed writings. Learning to write under pressure is just the skill I needed to succeed in blogging.
For years I have been trying to reconcile whether I am a poet or whether I just write poems. Writing workshops focus on genre, style, surroundings, voice, and technique. I may successfully convey these things, but I don’t focus on them. I just write from my spirit. My writing are a translation of what my spirit says to me, in the moment.
When I write, I don’t think about rules. I just write what I feel. I am chronicling my spiritual transformation!
My haphazard technique does not earn me the title of poet. I must reconcile my differences in this regard, and try to improve.
So, I say that I write poetry, just as I say that I am a writer, but not an author.
At a Gemini Ink writing workshop, in San Antonio, Texas, I learned of the importance of dating my work. I never thought that a suggestion so simple, would be so helpful. Now, almost 20 years since I began writing, I have a large collection of stories, narratives, poems, and songs, all dated, revealing what was occurring in my life at that time.
The date also allows me to reflect on the evolution of my spirit and personality.
When I started writing in 2001, my inspiration was a desire end elicit drug use. Well, I did, and have written through it, other victories, defeats, joy, and pain.
…It’s been like therapy. Many poets share this sentiment. Not implying that I’m a poet of course.
At the Core of My Creativity Conflict
I feel that what I create is at the very core of my creative conflict.
I know, or rather believe, which is knowing, that God gave me the ability to express myself, to humble myself, to admit to mistakes, and to praise him.
It is not me that generates my ideas or sentiments.
I convey the message, but God sends messages to me. After each trial, I have discovered that my craft improves.
During and after caring for my mother, which was one of my toughest challenges, my ideas soared.
I know this because I was never creative before. It just came to me during one of my lowest points.
When I hated myself for doing drugs, but could not containwriting creatively.
I’ve written myself paths out of many Circles. I would easily write 10 – 15 poems and songs a week, like Circles.
Circles
By Kevy Michaels
Verse 1
Walking in circles through my life
I’m so dizzy that I’m about to fall
As I reach crossroads in my heart
I turn right
The wind leads me wrong
As I cross over rivers of despair
Though I’m frail I find strength in my hope
As I turn to another lonely road
Will I find the place where I belong?
Chorus
Don’t take me back
To where I used to be
God please change my fate
So I can break free
My journey has been long
I’ve learned
Where I went wrong
But in this circle
No more, do I belong
Fighting drugs, depression, and health challenges at the time was nearly as tough as advocating and protecting my mother.
Interestingly, my siblings clearly knew of my prior battles then, but left me on my own to deal with them. With God, I conquered, and wrote about it.
But, years later, after I was not only not addicted, and had been spiritually transformed, they judged me for it, as though I was scarred for life.
…Oh how I love my ‘Good Christians’.
My endurance during these periods ignited my creativity because in the end, I felt exalted.
Another reason why I cannot call myself a poet or author is because I really don’t want to follow many writing rules or standards.
I am rebel in this and other regards. Though the techniques, and guidance are well-intended, I prefer that my writing is rough, organically from my heart. I am more interested in sharing my spirit, than I am interested in making money from writing. Many workshops focus on getting published and writing what sells.
I remember when I had a writing coach about 3 years ago. I would submit stories to him about me, my mother and my family, and consistently he told me that I had to make the stories more vivid.
He told me that my writing was preaching to the choir, meaning that those who already support my sentiments would be on board. But, I needed to be more vivid, and convincing to those who may not believe me.
Though he had good intentions, I felt a bit belittled because my writing is from my soul. It is not manufactured or formatted in any particular way. It is what my spirit tells me, and what God tells my soul.
I don’t know if I want to have to live up to standards of being a poet or an author for fear of diluting my feelings. I don’t want the weight of that responsibility imprisoning my expression.
There are some virtuous reasons that feel a creative conflict too.
I celebrate my imperfections. Getting to this point was a long battle with a well-trained ego. Humility won, though.
If I make mistakes or could develop an idea further, sometimes I make the necessary changes, but other times it does not matter to me. I rationalize that it shows my faults too, which is a part of me.
I also, maybe subconsciously, believe that if I name it, I must proclaim it. I don’t want to proclaim being an artist because I will have to become it.
The Law of Least Effort also enters the conflict as well. I don’t want to put a great deal of direct effort into becoming successful, because I’d rather that the universe or God delivers it to me, though spiritual connection.
All of these things stunt my creative growth, but none of it troubles me too much. I’ve learned to be patient, having to wait on God, like springtime, and he always came. …always.
As God has endowed me with some talents, I believe he will elevate me, but in his time.
Poems
But A Seed
Kevy Michaels
I am but a Seed
Minute in stature
…Magnificent in potential
Unconscionable brilliance dwells in me
Meditative calm completes me
I know how to do but one thing
…But I do it amazingly well
In nourished soil
I can transform myself into a Beautiful
Indescribable divine creation
From acidic and poisonous soils
I still emerge into
A Breathtaking Wonder
It is not me who chooses
Where to reveal the
Beautiful Potential
That I am
I am sowed carefully
Wherever I am meant to Grow
But it’s never at my discretion
I am unqualified and unable
To choose where I can best absorb
The Sun
…I cannot plant myself
So I do the one thing
That I can do well
….I Grow
Even if planted in the crack
Of concrete
I will blossom into a testimony
Illuminating how
Holy tranquility
Transforms me
Still
I can do just one thing
That’s okay by me
Because I do it unbelievably well
Besides, after all
…I am but a seed
My Principles
By Kevy Michaels
Make your grandest Wish
Then pray as if you were a child
Dream your most vivid Dream
Then meditate on it for a long while
Ask God to bless you exceedingly
Put others before yourself
Baptize your faith in Love
Give to the world nothing else
Ask for Forgiveness
Forgive
As you want to be Forgiven
Read the Word for wisdom
Learn to evolve
As you are Living
Don’t shelter away
From the world
Like a vase on a shelf
Express who you are Vividly!
Keep sacred truths
Between God and yourself
Release
To the Holy Spirit
Those things that you can’t change
Patiently
Rest assured
That lives can be rearranged
Turn your fears over to God
Take a big leap
…The first step of faith
Ask
Him to change your situation
Then get out
Of your own way
Branches
By Kevy Michaels
Branches…
…Bowing to the sun
Nearly touching its own roots
In Honor
….Humbled
Accepting its inability
To touch the sky
…Just Like me
In my surrender
To trials
Surrender
To God’s invincibility
Loyal
To my greatest source
…Just Like me
Adhering
To His Divine Law
Faithful
To my Most High
I render
My existence too
Like Branches
Enthralled by a mere glimpse
Of Eternal Love
And Eternal Light
…Me
I’m just like the Branches
That our God created
Rain
Kevy Michaels
The Rain is fertile
It nourishes the earth
God’s creatures appreciate
The gift of the Rain
They understand from where
Their blessings come…
…Who God is…
…And whose they are
They are comfortable
With where and how
The creator has placed them
They are joyful in his will
They surrender
And leave their Existence
In God’s hands
Knowing of his sustaining power
The Tears that I cry
They too are fertile
Though they stain my face
They encourage my Spirit
They release
Into the same soil
Poisons that separate me
From Thee
Those innocent droplets of liquid
Clear away the barriers
That disconnect me
From the Holy Spirit
They nourish me
Just as the rain nourishes
The soil for creatures of the Earth
Allowing the birth of a Beginning
A surrender to The Creator
Humility of accepting
Where and how God
Placed me
And how much I have grown
Remains
By Kevy Michaels
I was ungrateful
I thought everything had left me
It took standing alone
In the emptiness of what remained
To experience
A glimpse of God’s beauty
Now I am happy
And, I am free!
Though left here
In an empty space
The sun remained
Here with me
My soul was ecstatic!
Birds sang gracefully too
I worked hard to see
The vision
Of the Sun
Through murky clouds,
Sneakily peer through
The Fears
That I imagined
Can’t obstruct
What I now see
And no one
Mighty enough
To take the faithful Sun
Away from me
Translations
Spanish
Pero una semilla
Kevy Michaels
No soy más que una semilla
Minuto en estatura
… Magnífico en potencial
La brillantez incontenible habita en mí
La calma meditativa me completa
Sé cómo hacer solo una cosa
… Pero lo hago increíblemente bien
En suelo nutrido
Puedo transformarme en una Hermosa
Creación divina indescriptible
De suelos ácidos y venenosos
Todavía emerjo en
Una maravilla impresionante
No soy yo quien elige
Donde revelar el
Potencial hermoso
Eso soy
Soy sembrado cuidadosamente
Donde sea que esté destinado a crecer
Pero nunca es a mi discreción
No estoy calificado y no puedo
Para elegir dónde puedo absorber mejor
El sol
… No puedo plantarme
Así que hago una cosa
Que puedo hacerlo bien
….Crezco
Incluso si se planta en la grieta
De hormigón
Voy a florecer en un testimonio
Iluminando cómo
Santa tranquilidad
Me transforma
Todavía
Solo puedo hacer una cosa
Eso está bien por mí
Porque lo hago increíblemente bien
Además, después de todo
… No soy más que una semilla
Sucursales
Por Kevy Michaels
Ramas …
… Inclinándose al sol
Casi tocando sus propias raíces
En honor
…. Humillado
Aceptando su incapacidad
Tocar el cielo
…Tal como yo
En mi rendición
Para las pruebas
Rendición
Para la invencibilidad de Dios
Leal
Para mi mejor fuente
…Tal como yo
Adherirse
A su ley divina
Fiel
Para mi más alto
Yo renderizo
Mi existencia también
Como ramas
Enthralled por una mera vislumbre
De amor eterno
Y luz eterna
…Yo
Yo soy como las Ramas
Que nuestro Dios creado
Lluvia
Kevy Michaels
La lluvia es fértil
Nutre la tierra
Las criaturas de Dios aprecian
El regalo de la lluvia
Ellos entienden de donde
Sus bendiciones vienen …
… Quién es Dios …
… Y de quién son
Son cómodos
Con dónde y cómo
El creador los ha colocado
Son alegres en su voluntad
Ellos se rinden
Y deja su existencia
En las manos de Dios
Sabiendo de su poder sustentador
Las lágrimas que lloro
Ellos también son fértiles
Aunque manchan mi cara
Alientan a mi Espíritu
Lanzan
En el mismo suelo
Venenos que me separan
De ti
Esas inocentes gotas de líquido
Elimina las barreras
Eso me desconecta
Del Espíritu Santo
Ellos me nutren
Así como la lluvia nutre
El suelo para las criaturas de la Tierra
Permitiendo el nacimiento de un Principio
Una rendición al Creador
Humildad de aceptar
Dónde y cómo Dios
Me colocó
Y cuánto he crecido
Hindi
लेकिन एक बीज
केवी माइकल्स
मैं एक बीज हूँ
कद में मिनट
… संभावित में शानदार
अनगिनत प्रतिभा मेरे अंदर रहती है
ध्यान देने योग्य शांत मुझे पूरा करता है
मुझे पता है कि कैसे करना है लेकिन एक बात है
… लेकिन मैं इसे आश्चर्यजनक रूप से अच्छी तरह से करता हूं
पोषित मिट्टी में
मैं खुद को एक सुंदर में बदल सकता हूं
अविभाज्य दिव्य सृजन
अम्लीय और जहरीले मिट्टी से
मैं अभी भी उभरा हूं
एक सांस लेने वाला आश्चर्य
यह वह नहीं है जो चुनता है
कहां प्रकट करना है
सुंदर संभावित
वो तो मैं हूँ
मुझे सावधानी से बोया गया है
जहां भी मैं बढ़ने के लिए मतलब हूँ
लेकिन यह मेरे विवेकाधिकार पर कभी नहीं है
मैं अयोग्य और असमर्थ हूं
यह चुनने के लिए कि मैं सबसे अच्छा अवशोषित कर सकता हूं
सूरज
… मैं खुद को रोका नहीं सकता
तो मैं एक काम करता हूँ
मैं अच्छा कर सकता हूँ
…।मैं बढ़ता हूं
यहां तक कि अगर दरार में लगाया जाता है
कंक्रीट का
मैं एक गवाही में खिल जाऊंगा
कैसे रोशनी
पवित्र शांति
मुझे बदलता है
फिर भी
मैं सिर्फ एक चीज कर सकता हूँ
यह मेरे द्वारा ठीक है
क्योंकि मैं इसे अविश्वसनीय रूप से अच्छी तरह से करता हूं
इसके अलावा, सब के बाद
… मैं एक बीज हूँ
शाखाओं
केवी माइकल्स द्वारा
शाखाओं …
… सूरज के लिए बोइंग
अपनी जड़ें लगभग छू रही है
के सम्मान में
…. दीन
इसकी अक्षमता को स्वीकार करना
आकाश को छूने के लिए
…मेरी तरह
मेरे आत्मसमर्पण में
परीक्षण करने के लिए
आत्मसमर्पण
भगवान की अजेयता के लिए
निष्ठावान
मेरे सबसे महान स्रोत के लिए
…मेरी तरह
ससंक्त
अपने दिव्य कानून के लिए
वफादार
मेरे उच्चतम के लिए
मैं प्रस्तुत करता हूँ
मेरा अस्तित्व भी
शाखाओं की तरह
केवल एक झलक से उत्साहित
अनन्त प्यार का
और अनंत प्रकाश
… मेरे
मैं सिर्फ शाखाओं की तरह हूँ
हमारे भगवान ने बनाया है
बारिश
केवी माइकल्स
वर्षा उपजाऊ है
यह पृथ्वी को पोषण देता है
भगवान के प्राणियों की सराहना करते हैं
वर्षा का उपहार
वे कहां से समझते हैं
उनके आशीर्वाद आते हैं …
… भगवान कौन है …
… और जिनके वे हैं
वे आराम से है
कहां और कैसे के साथ
निर्माता ने उन्हें रखा है
वे अपनी इच्छा में खुश हैं
वे आत्मसमर्पण करते हैं
और अपने अस्तित्व छोड़ दें
भगवान के हाथो में
अपनी सतत शक्ति को जानना
आँसू जो मैं रोता हूँ
वे भी उपजाऊ हैं
हालांकि वे मेरा चेहरा दागते हैं
वे मेरी आत्मा को प्रोत्साहित करते हैं
वे रिलीज करते हैं
एक ही मिट्टी में
जहर जो मुझे अलग करते हैं
आप से
तरल की उन निर्दोष बूंदों
बाधाओं को दूर करें
वह मुझे डिस्कनेक्ट करता है
पवित्र आत्मा से
वे मुझे पोषण देते हैं
जैसे बारिश पोषण करती है
पृथ्वी के जीवों के लिए मिट्टी
शुरुआत के जन्म की अनुमति
निर्माता को आत्मसमर्पण
स्वीकार करने की विनम्रता
कहाँ और कैसे भगवान
मुझे रखा
और मैं कितना बड़ा हो गया है
Arabic
لكن البذور
كيفي مايكلز
أنا لست سوى البذور
دقيقة في مكانه
… رائعة في الإمكانات
تألق لا نهاية له يسكن في داخلي
الهدوء تأملي يكمل لي
أنا أعرف كيف أفعل ولكن شيء واحد
… لكنني أفعل ذلك بشكل مثير للدهشة
في التربة المغذية
أستطيع أن أحول نفسي إلى جميلة
خلق إلهي لا يوصف
من التربة الحمضية والسامة
ما زلت أخرج
عجب لالتقاط الأنفاس
ليس أنا من يختار
أين تكشف
إمكانات جميلة
هذا أنا
أنا أزرع بعناية
أينما يقصد أن ينمو
لكن ذلك ليس أبداً حسب تقديري
أنا غير مؤهل وغير قادر
لاختيار المكان الذي يمكنني استيعابه بشكل أفضل
الشمس
… لا أستطيع أن أغرس نفسي
لذلك أفعل الشيء الوحيد
أنني أستطيع القيام بعمل جيد
… أنا
حتى لو زرعت في الكراك
من الخرسانة
سوف أزهر في شهادة
تضيء كيف
الهدوء المقدس
يحولني
ما يزال
أستطيع أن أفعل شيئًا واحدًا فقط
هذا بخير من قبلي
لأنني أفعل ذلك بشكل لا يصدق جيدًا
الى جانب ذلك ، بعد كل شيء
… أنا مجرد بذرة
الفروع
بقلم كيفي مايكلز
فروع …
… الانحناء لأشعة الشمس
لمس تقريبا جذوره الخاصة
في شرف
…. مذل
قبول عدم قدرتها
لمس السماء
…فقط مثلي
في استسلامي
للمحاكمات
استسلام
إلى الله لا يقهر
مخلص
إلى أعظم مصدر
…فقط مثلي
الالتزام
لقانونه الإلهي
مؤمن
إلى أعلى مستوى
أنا أعرض
وجودي أيضا
مثل الفروع
أسطورة بمشاهدة بسيطة
الحب الأبدي
والضوء الخالدة
…أنا
أنا فقط أحب الفروع
أن الله خلقنا
تمطر
كيفي مايكلز
المطر خصب
يغذي الأرض
مخلوقات الله تقدر
هبة المطر
يفهمون من أين
بركاتهم تأتي …
… من هو الله …
… والذين هم
انهم مرتاحون
مع أين وكيف
وضعه الخالق
انهم فرحين في ارادته
يستسلمون
واترك وجودهم
بين يدي الله
معرفة سلطته
الدموع التي أبكي بها
هم أيضا خصب
على الرغم من أنها لطخة وجهي
يشجعون روحي
يطلقون سراحهم
في نفس التربة
السموم التي تفصلني
من اليك
تلك قطرات من السائل البريء
إخلاء الحواجز
هذا فصل لي
من الروح القدس
يغذونني
كما يغذي المطر
التربة لمخلوقات الأرض
السماح بميلاد من البداية
استسلام للخالق
تواضع القبول
أين وكيف الله
وضعت لي
وكم كنت قد نمت
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