Real Talk On Family Betrayal – Don’t Believe Those Closest To You Won’t Deceive You
This post is deeply personal.
It spiritually transformed me.
It revealed to me the existence of fake-faithful and evil in my inner circle. It revealed who I am, and who I’m not.
It taught me that race doesn’t really matter though we’ve built our civilization around this man-made invention.
“Only spirit matters.” ~ Kevy
Caring for my mother in the latter years of her 96 years on earth broke me, then rebuilt me.
Though it nearly killed me, and caused me to lose nearly everything I’d owned, I never relented in my obligation to my mother, and to God.
Betrayal and deception ultimately became wisdom and discernment. ~ Kevy
“It was like poison that turned to medicine.” – Tina Turner
“Lil Eunice, I still love you….even more.” ~ Kevy
Original Post – July 2018
I was raised Catholic. My mother was devout. As a result, I know a whole lot about the importance of prayer and faith, but not much about the bible.
I can’t recite stories or verses off of the top of my head, like holy rollers.
But that doesn’t bother me. I don’t need a facade of ‘the word‘ to deflect from my true spirit, my true essence.
My sincerity exudes on its own. My spirituality is more organic, gained through life’s trials.
I follow no rules because rules are written in a book. Those rules are written on my heart.
I simply follow the spirit of God within me, and later find that there was a spiritual law for that.
“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.” – Tennessee Williams
But I still love the Bible. I get many things from it. There are some lessons that I abide by wholeheartedly, like the 10 commandments. …Especially about not lying or stealing, and honoring my mother.
There are other parts that give me hope, like psalms.
Some parts require that I personalize my interpretation.
And, other parts I make myself aware of, just to be prepared if its misinterpretation is attempted against me.
What I love most about the bible is that I see it as the genome map, the DNA, if you will, of human nature and emotions. It vividly displays in captivating stories how loving and ugly humans can be.
The bible exemplifies Faith, Hope, Steadfastness, Greed, Lust, and the ‘big B’, Betrayal.
“As they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” – Matthew 26:21-23
I am grateful for the many times that I have been betrayed. It led me to such wisdom that I feel betrayal-proof today.
I’ve had family members betray me, who said it was done in the name of Jesus when they were comforted.
I’ve been unfairly judged, behind my back, to fuel a false narrative on me, to impede my sincere determination to lovingly care for my mother. None of it worked though. It caused emotional and physical illness for me and my mother. The stress nearly killed us both. But, in the end, it didn’t work.
“For even your brothers and the household of your father, Even they have dealt treacherously with you, Even they have cried aloud after you Do not believe them, although they may say nice things to you.” – Jeremiah 12:6
“Yea, my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, who did eat of my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” – Psalm 41: 9
Friends were no exception to the betrayals I’ve experienced. Most smiled in my face when I earned six figures, and traveled the world, but dropped me like a hot potato when I became bankrupt and sick. Many called superficially when I was at my lowest, but only to get the latest gossip, never to help or support. Through my over 4 years of caregiving, it was only me, my mother, and God. But my mother was in her 90’s and could not help me much. She did what she could. She loved me, trusted me, had unshakable faith, and defended me to the bitter end.
I had to rely mainly on God, which taught me who I am, and who I wasn’t and would never be, in terms of my spirit.
My worse experience of Betrayal occurred in New Orleans, beginning in 2008 after I was catapulted into solely caring for my mother. On a visit to my mother’s home, after she had a stroke, my siblings walked out on me, leaving me, and never returning to her aid until it was too late, after she transcended.
It seemed to be to the chagrin of my siblings, and their cohorts, that my mother emphatically asked that I take care of her, in her final years. I accepted this responsibility as God inspired me to, but evil minds openly and secretly propagated a negative narrative of my intentions, fueled by jealousy, greed, judgment, and elitism. This was done out of envy, over money, and over false prophecy and judgment. I was Jobe and the Prodigal Son in this story.
Through this several-year-ordeal, I felt like a fugitive without guilt, was wrongfully investigated (and exonerated) by state eldercare agencies, intimated by police, senior services agencies, and government officials.
I was abandoned by family and friends, who I thought really loved me. This was like piercing a glow spiked iron through my heart.
But I endured, surviving off of me and my mother’s faith.
I am sure that I will write posts on this period, for immersed in this sea of betrayal, I rose spiritually and learned many lessons about myself, and others, relative to me.
Though it made me physically sick, bankrupt and nearly broke me down to my last compound, it rebuilt me with a more fortified infrastructure, tenfold.
Triumphing over what I refer to as an army of devils, which included family members, friends, and agencies influenced by them, all conspiring to undermine my sincerity, hurt me distressingly, but it gave me unimaginable discernment, not only about family and friends but about human nature in general.
I used to think that my tormentors would have remorse for their deeds. I reached out to them on this false hope, even apologizing when I felt I had no reason to.
In every case where I did, the betrayers felt that they did nothing wrong. I’m no longer that naive.
I now know that many insincere people don’t have morality, and will do evil things even in the name of Jesus. Some simply know not what they do.
At first, I resented them and addressed them as though I was having conversations with Satan himself. I evolved since then. That was a terrible waste of energy that blocked my blessings.
Now, I simply hit them with Love, sending encouraging news, information, poems, and photos, not to boast, but to say to them that God prevailed, through me. I hit them with Truth, their Truth juxtaposed with mine on this matter.
They run for a rock to hide, but God removed the rocks that they sought for cover.
They are all silent as I was as a child when hiding in the closet in terror of the ‘Hully Kully’ monster that I imagined.
I manage my resentments more effectively today by focusing more on my future, which looks bright, I might add.
But doing so is still bittersweet because God tells me that I must tell the story of my sibling rivalry war, fueled simply by my taking over caregiving duties for my mother, as she asked me to.
I also know that I must tell this story because since my mother became an angel, I am hearing about such hatred in other family caregiving situations. I support friends today who are in the midst of similar chaos.
I am only human. Being betrayed by people that I loved and trusted still hurts today.
I am in the midst of writing a book about the entire experience, with all of its horrific details, but my teardrops often smear the ink. I cried as I reflected on all that my mother and I endured, being treated like fugitives by tormentors, my family, and those in our inner circle.
I pray for my Judases nearly every day. I thank them and send them love. They showed me who I am by vividly showing themselves, who I am unequivocally not.
I can’t be in their energy anymore unless they too are spiritually transformed. If I were in their presence, after having experienced their betrayals, I would not notice them, because I’ve been elevated above them, …Because of them.
I accept that I my never see them again, and work very carefully to build another family, a spiritual one that includes any and all races. Ultimately, I learned that their are only two types of spirits, good or evil. I remember them as the latter.
There are many times I cried as I went through my New Orleans trials and listened to this specific song for inspiration.
“God Favored Me “HEZEKIAH WALKER LYRICS – 21,131,620 views – Praise and Worship – Published on Aug 21, 2013
Kat Kerr talks about the mysteries of Heaven click the link below to watch this powerful revelation http://goo.gl/1jwAcQ
“Them People” was a phrase my mother used often when we discussed how my siblings and family were acting out and being unsupportive at best and evil at worst.
She would say, “you worry about ‘them people’. I don’t worry about them; they don’t care about me.”
But “Them People” may refer to anyone you choose as they are depicted in this poem.
Poem – Them People
By Kevy Michaels
‘Them People’ think
I’m always bragging
But all I’m really doing is sharing
What God can do for them too
That I’m crazy
My thinking’s warped
My clarity hazy
But their opinions never phase me
I don’t work for them
They don’t pay me
And I’ll never see life as they do
Then they feel I’m unworthy
…And not sturdy
Besides everyone knows
Only ‘they’ are worthy
…Cause they know bible verses
And pray every Sunday
They also see me as a fool
…Because they take, take, take
…While they think I give
Like a damn fool
I post on my blog daily
Like a teacher in school
Living by golden rules
And not all that
‘Yakety Yak’ all the time
That must be
Why they don’t show me much love
Though we praise the same God above
Maybe they just need a hug
Or maybe a big shove
Off that high-horse
So that God
Guides me to catch their fall
Now I’m thinking
They may never get it
They can’t imagine
…With the Holy Spirit?
As for scripture
They’ll surely spit it
Their God’s in print
…But not in their spirits
And they just don’t live
…The way they claim
But, Real Talk
I’ve been born again
Checked me out lately?
…A brand new man
God told me
Our chances are all the same
So I’ll pray that theirs come too
It’s just like mamma Eunice told me
Never let ‘Them People‘ stop your flow
They’ll truly know
The spirit of God
He may appear.
Psychology: What to do with anger, revenge and betrayal – 4,412 views – C. Connor – Published on Aug 6, 2014
Respond to Betrayal by Learning from It, with Joel Peterson – 28,486 views – Big Think – Published on Jun 13, 2016
Betrayal is part of giving trust, says JetBlue Chairman Joel Peterson. So the odds are you will be betrayed at some point in time. Still, recovery and healing are possible. Peterson’s book is “The 10 Laws of Trust: Building the Bonds That Make a Business Great” (http://goo.gl/oIG94o).
Psychology of Revenge – 24,971 views – Vanessa Van Edwards – Published on May 28, 2015
Do you want to seek revenge? Science says revenge might not be so sweet. Watch this video to find out more. ScienceofPeople.com for the full article.
Please consider commenting on this post regarding caregiving and family rivalry for others who may be in or have been in the grueling situation that I overcame by the grace of God. I will publish and reply to every comment.
As a sole caregiving under family pressure for years, it helped me to know of other’s similar stories. Kevy
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