At the seeming climax of many of my trials, I tend to experience vivid emotions of worry and fear, just like the next person.  I am not immune to any human emotions.  I have been an emotional animal at times, that an insensitive person couldn’t tolerate.

But, big but, I pride myself in managing human disappointment, pain, grieving, anger, and resentment.

I credit my abilities to manage the things that human go through to mediation, prayer also.  But I do tend to meditate more than I pray.  I practice a form of Prayer-Meditation, whereby I put the intention of my prayers in the air by merely thinking about them.  And, in so doing, I am praying much the same as speaking them.

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A few weeks ago, I was seriously worried about my sustainability, finances, security, and safety.  I was worried, but should not have been.

I was not guilty of anything, but the enemy had we worried as though I was.  As most people would do, I worried and even cried at what I imagined was coming down on me, just as a huge boulder rolling down a hill.

For a few days, I had the image of a boulder at the top of a mountain, headed straight for me below, in my head.  It would not go away.

Sometimes my writings are based on imaginary visions.  Well, I imagined this image for days, without writing anything about it, though I knew that I would.

Needless to say, I evolved through my legal battles to totally surrendering to The Lord, but first I surrendered wasted tears to those ‘close to me’, who proved to really not want to be bothered.

…And, most importantly, to the Lord.  I was so stricken with fear that I knew that only the holy spirit would save me from my perceived fears.

It was all my perception, but that alone is what made it real.

I surrendered and cried to The Lord.  Once I did it, I wrote a note to the Lord.  It is below.

Once I did it, I no longer bore shame or bashfulness about having cried to others who did not care.

I can’t really describe how reviving the cries were to me.

It was almost ceremonial in that once the tears were gone, I felt courageous.  Later, I would become victorious.

That was also my perception, and that alone is what made it real.

Kevy

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At the past few months’ most transformative moment, I realized the power of the mind in creating and vividly imagining fear into existence. 

When faced with a battle that I could not win alone, I imagined a horror movie that I had to prevent from occurring.  The more I was clueless about preventing the inevitable, the more inevitable imaginary horror movie became vivid.

This experience was worth bringing me near the edge of the cliff of fear.  But at the edge of the cliff, I closed my eyes and surrendered.  When I opened them again, I was still on firm ground, standing even firmer.

My fear was imagined, so I simply unimagined it by replacing it with a new imagination of victory and triumph.  I simply vaporized the fear, once I accepted that I was flowing with wherever divine spirit was leading me.

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During this, and other trials, I also learned that I was partly responsible for the trials themselves, that I must continue to fight and endure. 

I chose the road on which I travel.  I choose to express my life as I do, which since it is a bit against the grain, will always draw controversy.

But in a deeper reflection, I learned that I ‘ordered’ trials. 

I ordered adversity and spiritual wars from which I must gain the Knowledge optimal for me to serve The Lord’s will, as I pray that he will someday reveal to me.

When I asked for The Lord to ‘use me’, I ordered the trials necessary for me to be worthy to fulfill the desired role. 

I did not only asked for the destination; I requested the full journey.

Kevy

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Poems

WITH THIS NOTE

Kevy Michaels

I APPRECIATE THAT U

ALLOWED ME 2 GO OUT

ON MY OWN

PERHAPS U KNEW

THAT I WOULD

COME BACK 2 U

PERHAPS YOU KNEW THAT

THE WORLD WOULD

DISAPPOINT ME

TRICK ME

DISCEIVE ME

TRY 2 INSTILL

FEAR

IN ME

UNTIL I’D FIND U

IN MY HEART, THOUGH

RESTING PEACEFULLY

IN A QUIET PLACE

WHERE I WRITE

THIS SIMPLE NOTE

GIVING MY LIFE 2 U

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…Instead

Kevy Michaels

Exhausted from my

Journey

A mountain

…And cliff

Delivered me

In-to bliss

The mountain

Blocked the sun

The landscape

Wet-kissed me

So I stopped there

…To take a rest

Fell into a deep trance

Lifted as a feather

I died

And had been

Reborn

…Burdens laid

On the ground

…No one around

My Spirit

Clearly

In the palms of

The Lord

Trickling grass

…Made me laugh

Greeted paradise with

A banana split

Smile

But had to get

Back on the road

Though I could

Have easily

Stayed there for a

Good while

Turned my body

To the other side

To greet the Sun

And just to

Look around

I became startled

By a

Humongous boulder

Ten times my size

That was Rapidly…

Rolling down!

I ran like a cheetah

While the mountain

Tried to push me

Closer to razor’s edge

I was really frightened

As if

Standing intoxicated

On a hundred-story ledge

A thought just

Popped into my head

When I noticed

The corpse

Of an old tree trunk

I dragged it across the road

Then prayed that

The big rock

Would take

A Big jump

…it worked out as I thought!

There was radiance

Over the valley

…Sprinkled

All the way down

That Ferocious Rock

Was not the same

Transformed In-to

Pebbles

Bedazzling

The ground

It was all

Imaginary!

My mind saw death

…Not The Universe

Though my head was sure

I’d be dead

I never imagined

That it could be

Gems from

The Heavens

Sent to

Light my path

…Instead

…I would have never imagined

That I was that

Blessed

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Videos

Troubled by Fear? Just Change Your Channel! – Sadhguru – Published on Nov 23, 2014

Sadhguru looks at the nature of fear and answers a question on how to overcome fear. He explains how fear arises because of excessive imagination. Instead of producing “horror movies” in our mind, produce a comedy, a love story or a suspense thriller, he says.

Full Transcript:

How to Detach from the Outcome and Let the Universe Do Her Thing – GabrielleBernstein – Published on Sep 12, 2015

Do you try to control situations and force the outcome you want? Learn how to detach from the outcome and trust in the Universe!

FEAR IS NOT REAL – anxietycentre – Published on Oct 28, 2015

A clip from the movie “After Earth” resonates with our view of anxiety and fear. They are not real in the sense that they are material or tangible. Fear and anxiety are ‘states of mind.’ In other words, imaginary. As such, we can eliminate them by changing behavior.

What is F.E.A.R. | How to get past the imaginary! – Stay Ready Johnson – Published on Aug 25, 2017

WHAT IS FEAR? Fear is false evidence that appears real in your mind. You can’t let the imaginary stop your reality. Whatever it is that you what to do, do it afraid. Only YOU can stop YOU. Your FAITH has to be stronger than your fears. Fear and faith cannot coexist. One will push the other out. Which one wins is up to YOU.

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