Lately, I have been having incidences where I am in the midst of negative energy. I say lately, but it has been a trend with me for over ten years. It is just that now I understand it because I’ve successfully endured it. I know it well and can recognize its characteristics.
One characteristic of this feeling that I phrase often is feeling is that it’s as if the devil’s army is against me. I felt that way when I struggled to care for my mother. I’ve also felt it when I was opposed and resisted for my natural health and healing choices.
When this energy is happening around me, it seems that situations and people, who are totally unrelated or aware of one another, unknowingly conspire against me. Some people refer to it as bad luck, or bad karma, when everything seems to go wrong. But, in this case, everyone seems to go wrong.
I’ve come to learn that this is a phase of the spiritual transformation process. To make it to the other side, you must be triumphant in a few spiritual wars. I seem in then every day.
During this process, I’ve also experienced sickness and exhaustion One positive aspect of the transition, though, is that I’ve experienced an astounding creative boost. Ideas pop into my head by the second!
My aura shines brilliantly! And though others may not see it, they know that it is there. They sense something strange, yet effervescing about me. Complete strangers may resist me and cause a confrontation with me just to break me and get to the bottom of what makes you tick.
Those in my immediate circle watch in disbelief, though I’m metamorphosizing before their very eyes. Family and friends, as mine did, would say that I’m crazy at worst, and hard to take, at best.
Now I do accept that I am an unusual black man. For one, I’m still alive, and not incarcerated.
But I am pretty unique in my experiences too. At eight months old, my father committed suicide. I was oblivious to it, though. I was too young. I kind of guessed that my mother must have grieved through intensely nurturing me. I conclude this based on how she made me feel special all my life and the uncanny richness of our relationship. This likely caused resentment amongst my eight siblings, that carries into today.
I overcame death five or more times unscathed! That’s a good one! I traveled a major part of the world and lived in England. I’ve been a successful entrepreneur and served as a corporate officer, working for some of the largest corporations in the world.
And, I’ve made many mistakes, many in the usual areas of drugs and indulgence. I’ve been used, betrayed, deceived and violated several times. After forgiving them, some used me again.
It seems that after living so illustriously I’d be proud to be standing tall today. I am, but just a little.
These very experiences are what ignites more curiosity today. After all that I have accomplished and overcame, I am curious and ambitious to do more, but more meaningfully.
I want to know The Lord’s purpose for me. That is what I am seeking spiritually now. I want to serve well, but to serve The Lord optimally. This feeling, along with my history, is what is causing a storm of divinity to swirl around me.
How It’s Affecting Others
Because of these changes in my life, it had caused conflicts of energy with others. Their experience is different. They don’t take life so seriously. Since I’ve been invested in legacy and spirituality for the past 10 years, I am not relenting! I have been praying for this and finally, I can feel it happening to me. I am grateful that those prayers are being answered. I feel my spiritual evolution, as though it is happening more rapidly than ever before.
This transition not at all easy! It is very challenging at times.
As I change, those around me change differently. Some remain the same. They often don’t accept or believe in the new me. As a result, I’ve had to eliminate many people out of my life.
Initially, through this process, I became lonely. I found myself alone all the time, but frequently mediated and prayed to erase my consciousness. Only then did the loneliness become gentle.
Now, I have done a complete 360° on loneliness and I wanted to share the news with you because there’s a good ending to this story!
I will describe it with an analogy. You may not find it to be a very good one if you do not imagine as I do.
Imagine standing before a door cracked opened, but there was only darkness on the other side. You say a quick prayer and enter on faith. You’re then in complete darkness.
Because you cannot see, you must look within yourself to understand. You begin to find answers to age-old questions in the darkened room. You realize that you are in The Room of Truth. But you are still alone and lonely.
After a while, you get accustomed to the room because you have nothing else to do, and you are rewarded with Knowledge each time you go within.
One day, you notice that there is another door in the room. You were initially so stricken with fear when you first entered the room that you failed to observe your surroundings. You noticed the outline of the door because of the light that illuminated through the cracks. You said one quick prayer, opened the door and stepped through.
Inside, you feel energy just like yours. You are instantly joyous! You make yourself comfortable for a while, ultimately realizing that you were in The Room of Purpose.
In this room, you find your purpose in life, The Lord’s will just for you!
Soon you exit The Room of Purpose. You don’t need it anymore. Then through The Room of Knowledge, and back out into the world, tenderly carrying your purpose with you.
This is what doing a 360° on loneliness feels like to me!
This is what finding The Lord’s will for me feels like. I think that I’ve found my purpose! You are reading it.
Now, I prefer to be alone. Not because I am a loner, but because the transformation is swarming my mind with ideas. I bathe in a tub of tranquility every day. I am keenly focused. Every day I have a clean slate.
I believe that if I sustain this high vibration many good things will manifest in my life and I will inspire many people.
As a result of this process, I’ve become addicted to meditation and prayer. It helps me to see things vividly while in the void, and even when out of it.
This has my creativity bubbling. I am overwhelmed by my ideas. For example, this morning I woke up with an idea for this song. I wrote the chorus in about 5 minutes.
Even though life’s beaten me
I still have my Pride
They smile deceptively at Me
My heart’s still Golden inside
Every day I defend being Me
And wouldn’t do it any differently
The Sun’s helps me to See
So I take each step carefully
Until my Heart’s last Beat
Only For The Lord will
I ever Surrender
This is what may be in store for you if you find yourself alone but endure through it spiritually.
It may lead you to your purpose, your Dharma.
Please read the post, ‘Excuse Me, But I Need Space: To Study, Create, and Fulfill My Dharma’ to better understand The Spiritual Law of Dharma.
That Man Is Forever Gone
Accepting that I am no longer the man that I used to be. The man that I used to be is the man that my circle of friends and family had grown to know and appreciate. Now he is gone. Many of them haven’t changed, and take pride in being the same ‘all their lives’. Meanwhile, I am celebrating getting yet another life, perhaps my sixth.
If any of them have changed, they can’t be experiencing what I am now experiencing, otherwise, they would understand me and not find me hard to take. What makes it harder on me and them, is that I can’t explain to them what is happening to me, for much of it is unknown to me. I’m discovering with each step I take.
And, vibrationally, they are in a different place than I am. If I tried to explain it, they would intensify their insults of me being crazy. So, I would just sit back and allow them to be as they are, though they did not allow me to be me, the new me. I continually concealed myself from them.
This is why I had to eliminate most of those in my circle from my life.
It is not a judgment of them at all. My newfound awareness has resulted in me having greater sensitivity to my surroundings and the energy that surrounds me. Our energies now clash. Their energy causes ripples in my current vibration. This phase of my spiritual transformation is a very intricate process. I cannot allow opposing karma to enter this divine process.
I wore myself out for years trying to superimpose my new self into old situations and relationships and hiding often left me hurt. I tolerated the pain for years because the behaviors and relationships were so well established.
Then 2019 became one year too many. I simply exited their stage.
Now I am free, and I better understand where I am headed, and that the tunnel was just an illusion after all. The light was always in the tunnel because I was in the tunnel. I just was not in it alone and the distractions made very subtle divine vibration unnoticeable.
I had been so befuddled with loneliness all the while. I wasn’t analyzing it with a spiritual lens at first. I could not understand why The Lord would do this to me, after all of my good deeds.
I wanted to understand why I was encountering so much tension with others. Why was everyone leaving, or I felt the need to leave them? Why have new relationships not worked? I even doubted myself thinking that having many people in my life was a blessing and since I had few, I was the problem. I prayed and meditated on this for several years, only to witness another one bite the dusk.
Now, nearly everyone has been eliminated but replaced with new people who are more spiritually aligned with me. Still, they are very few. Those who were active in my life prior to and after my transformation process began have all been eliminated.
This is by choice because finally, I have a fondness for being alone. I’ve discovered that loneliness was requisite to my spiritual transformation which will ultimately lead to my Dharma. Kevy
No longer does rejection make me cry
You can no longer hurt me
I’m not looking to you anymore
You cannot turn your back on me
Creating beauty from nothing
No longer do I feel empty
Though my plate appears bare
I am feasting on a luscious bounty
My world is not the same
I can see what you may not see
I’m healed of all ailments
I’ve gained amazing immunity
I’m enfolded in a veil of Light
I am blind to all negativity
My vibe has been elevated
I must continue on this journey
Our frequency is too different now
I exit you, unequivocally
I will hold no resentments
Because it’s not you
In every way, I’m no longer the same
I must move forward and upward
I wanted to let you know that
That I’ve been changed
Then I smiled
As I sat in a dark room, I was stunned not knowing how this happened to me.
I was frozen, too afraid to move forward, yet I was too curious to keep myself contained to one spot.
Then a gentle breeze tapped me on the shoulder and soothed my fears, as it enfolded me.
Before I could anchor my feet to where I stood, the once blocked door began to hypnotize me with the brilliant light that it carefully unveiled.
Without question, I stepped through the doorway as my chin embraced a path illuminated by radiant sunlight shining through the cracked open door.
Then the wind stole my one remaining excuse, as it slammed shut the door that once silenced my plea.
I had to step into the Light.
For one last time, I looked over my shoulder to the closed door that now restricted the darkness.
And to the rainbow haloed over a majestic mountain before me.
…Then to the sky.
At that very moment, a velvety mist kissed the crown of my head.
I took just one confident step forward.
Then I smiled.
Addicted To Meditation Extremely Perceptive – Kevy Michaels – Uploaded on Feb 10, 2019
Exploring the Positive Side of Loneliness | Dealing with Loneliness – 588 views – Boomerly.com – Published on Apr 22, 2015
When you are dealing with loneliness, it is easy to get overwhelmed. You may not realize it, but there is actually a positive side to loneliness. Watch this video to find out what it is and how you can use it to your advantage.
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