Terror on the Caregiver – But Judas, You Said You Loved Me…

Real Talk On Betrayal

I was raised Catholic. My mother was devout. As a result, I know a whole lot about the importance of prayer and faith, but not much about the bible. I can’t recite stories or verses off of the top of my head, like holy rollers. But that doesn’t bother me. I don’t need the facade of the word to deflect from my soul. My sincerity exudes on its own. My spirituality is more organic, gained through life’s trials.

“We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.” – Tennessee Williams

But I still love the Bible. I get many things from it. There are some lessons that I abide by wholeheartedly, like the 10 commandments. There are other parts that give me hope, like psalms. Some parts require that I personalize my interpretation. And, other parts I make myself aware of, just to be prepared if its misinterpretation is attempted against me. What I love most about the bible is that I see it as the genome map, the DNA, if you will, of human nature and emotions.

The bible exemplifies Faith, Hope, Steadfastness, Greed, Lust, and the ‘big B’, Betrayal.

“As they were eating, He said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me.” – Matthew 26:21-23

I am grateful for the many times that I have been betrayed. It led me to such wisdom that I feel betrayal-proof today.

I’ve had family members betray me, who said it was done in the name of Jesus when they were comforted. I’ve been unfairly judged, behind my back, to fuel a false narrative on me, to impede my sincere determination to lovingly care for my mother.

“For even your brothers and the household of your father, Even they have dealt treacherously with you, Even they have cried aloud after you Do not believe them, although they may say nice things to you.” – Jeremiah 12:6

“Yea, my own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, who did eat of my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.” – Psalm 41: 9

Friends were no exception to the betrayals I’ve experienced. Most smiled in my face when I earned six figures, and traveled the world, but dropped me like a hot potato when I became bankrupt and sick. Many called superficially when I was at my lowest, but only to get the latest gossip.

My worse experience of Betrayal occurred in New Orleans, beginning in 2008 after I was catapulted into solely caring for my mother. It seemed to be to the chagrin of my siblings, and their cohorts, that my mother emphatically asked that I take care of her, in her final years. I accepted this responsibility as God inspired, but evil minds openly and secretly propagated a negative narrative of my intentions, fueled by jealousy, greed, judgment, and elitism. Through this several-year-ordeal, I felt like a fugitive without guilt, was wrongfully investigated (and exonerated) by state agencies, intimated by police, agency, and government officials, and abandoned by family and friends, who I thought really loved me. This was like a piercing a glow spiked iron through my heart, but I endure, though me and my mother’s faith.

I am sure that I will write posts on this period, for immersed in this sea of betrayal, I rose spiritual and learned many lessons about myself, and others, relative to me. Though it made me physically sick and nearly broke me down to my last compound, it rebuilt me with a more fortified infrastructure, tenfold. Triumphing over what I refer to as an army of devils, which included family members, friends, and agencies influenced by them, all conspiring to undermine my sincerity, hurt me distressingly, but it gave me unimaginable discernment.

I used to think that my tormentors had remorse and reached out to them, even apologizing when I felt I had no reason to. I don’t know if applies to most cases, but in every case where I did, the betrayer felt that they did nothing wrong. I’m no longer that naive. I know that many insincere people do not have morality, and will do evil things in the name of Jesus. Some simply know not what they do.

At first, I resented them and addressed them as though I was having conversations with Satan himself. I evolved since then. That was a terrible waste of energy that blocked my blessings. Now, I simply hit them with Love, sending encouraging news, information, poems, and photos, not to boast, but to say to them that God prevailed, through me. They are all silent as I was as a child when hiding in the closet in terror of the ‘Hully Kully’ monster that I imagined.

I manage my resentments more effectively today by focusing more on my future, which looks bright, I might add. But doing so is still bittersweet because God tells me that I must tell the story of my sibling rivalry war, fueled simply by my taking over caregiving duties for my mother, as she asked me to. I also know that I must tell this story because since my mother became an angel, I am hearing about such hatred in other family caregiving situations. I support friends today who are in the midst of similar chaos.

I am only human. Being betrayed by people that I loved and trusted still hurts today. I am in the midst of writing a book about the entire experience, with all of its horrific details, but my teardrops smear the ink. I cried as I reflected on all that my mother and I endured, being treated like fugitives by tormentors.

I pray for my Judases nearly every day. I thank them and send them love.

But I can’t be in their energy anymore unless they too are spiritually transformed.  For if I were in their presence, after having I experienced their betrayals, I would not notice them, because I’ve been elevated above them,  …Because of them.

There are many times I cried as I went through my New Orleans trials and listened to this song for inspiration.

“God Favored Me “HEZEKIAH WALKER LYRICS – 21,131,620 views – Praise and Worship – Published on Aug 21, 2013

Kat Kerr talks about the mysteries of Heaven click the link below to watch this powerful revelation http://goo.gl/1jwAcQ

Poem – Them People

‘Them People’
By Kevy Michaels

‘Them People’ think

I’m always bragging

Always flossing

Always swaging

But all I’m really doing is sharing

What God can do for them too

They believe

That I’m crazy

My thinking’s warped

My clarity hazy

But opinions never phase me

I don’t work for them

They don’t pay me

And I’ll never see life as they do

Then they feel I’m unworthy

Spiritually Filthy

Morally Dirty

Unstable Mentally?

.. And not sturdy

Besides everyone knows

Only ‘they’ are worthy

…Cause they know bible verses

And pray every Sunday

They also see me as a fool

…Because they take, take, take

…While I feel giving

Is still cool

I post daily on my blog

Like a teacher in school

Living by golden rules

And not all that ‘Yakety Yak’ all the time

That must be

Why they don’t show me much love

Though we praise the same God above

Maybe they just need a hug

Or maybe a big shove

Off that high-horse

So that Love

Guides me to catch their fall

Now I’m thinking

They may never get it

They can’t imagine


…With the Holy Spirit?

As for scripture

They’ll surely spit it

God in print

…But not in their spirits

And they just don’t live

…The way they claim

But, Real Talk

I’ve been born again

Checked me out lately?

…A brand new man

God told me

Our chances are all the same

So I’ll pray that theirs come too


It’s just like mamma Eunice told me

Long ago

Never let ‘Them People’ stop your flow

Pray that

One day

They’ll truly know

The spirit of God

In whoever

And wherever He may appear.

Psychology: What to do with anger, revenge and betrayal – 4,412 views – C. ConnorPublished on Aug 6, 2014

Respond to Betrayal by Learning from It, with Joel Peterson – 28,486 views – Big Think – Published on Jun 13, 2016

Betrayal is part of giving trust, says JetBlue Chairman Joel Peterson. So the odds are you will be betrayed at some point in time. Still, recovery and healing are possible. Peterson’s book is “The 10 Laws of Trust: Building the Bonds That Make a Business Great” (http://goo.gl/oIG94o).

Psychology of Revenge – 24,971 views – Vanessa Van Edwards – Published on May 28, 2015

Do you want to seek revenge? Science says revenge might not be so sweet. Watch this video to find out more. ScienceofPeople.com for the full article.

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