Excuse Me, But I Need Space: To Study, Create, and Fulfill My Dharma

Excuse Me, I Have Goals

I’m more focused than I’ve ever been.  I spend more time alone than I ever have too.  And, I’m okay with it.  I’m in that season where the space is necessary.

self time 4I did not skillfully get to this place.  Life brought me here.  Once I served as caregiver, went bankrupt, and generally fell from grace, nearly everyone disappeared from my once opulent life.

At first, I was lonely and hurt that so many friends and family had dumped me until I realized they didn’t really leave me, they left my old persona.  That was the person they liked so much.  They left the money, the drugs, and excitement that used to be a part of my life years ago.

I also discovered that I initially felt lonely because I missed the old persona too.  I was lonely because I missed my old self.  But, not anymore.

My spiritual journey made being alone understandable, and digestible, revealing benefits that I did not consider.  I became cool with not having a lot of people and activities around me.  My life became much simpler.

Once I accepted that I was a new man, I, therefore, needed to establish a new life, complete with new goals, desires, and intentions.

I started to view my life differently.  I saw my new life like Groundhog Day.  I was beginning life again, to see if this time I’d get it right.

Looking at it this way, abandonment became a blessing.  I had the space I needed to pursue new goals, in the same shell, but with an enhanced spirit and proven wisdom.

Whether you gain freedom from those people and things that may distract you from your goals by falling from grace as I did, or by other means, the point is that you will ultimately require space to focus. 

You will not reach your goals, not optimally, trying to maintain your social butterfly status.  You’ll have to give that up.

You will have to also eliminate all distracting people, places, and things from your life.

To optimally focus, you will have to repeatedly work towards presenting your most authentic self to the computer, canvas, book, notepad, camera, or person that you must face to get your work done.

Outside of the goal itself, anything, anything that is not for the “better good” of your Mind, Spirit, and Body will impede your ability to focus, and therefore your ability to succeed.

I was one of those people who thought I could be both social and focused.  It worked for an illusionary while, but it was exhausting and caused me many unnecessary clashes in priorities.  Even though I had my share of successes, they were marginal compared to what they should have been.

I see maintaining a disciplined focus on the steps that will lead to my goals, as of the utmost importance.  My goal is the pursuit of my purpose in life, my Dharma.  There’s nothing more important than fulfilling God’s plan for me, so I take it very seriously.

For any upcoming event that I may have, I prepare myself in advance to be at my very best when the event occurs. 

I prepare a day in advance for going to church, work, and class.  I even prepare for writing posts.  I visualize and meditate, and the message becomes vivid.  Then I eat well, sleep well, and mentally prepare myself so that my message is clear when it’s written.  I see my writing bouts as an event, just like a doctor’s appointment, for which I also present my optimal self.

Focusing on a work of creativity, research, study, or a mission are all ‘events’, and should be treated as such.  They are not just a ‘to do’ item; they’re much more. 

Schedule the times when you need space and alertness to focus.  Prepare for this ‘event’ in advance.  Put everyone on alert.  The night before eat and rest well.  Visualize what you are going to do, and how.  Pray to God that you are successful.  Alternatively, thank God in advance for your inevitable success, before it occurs.

We must also relax in order to focus.  Everyone doesn’t know how to relax.  Therefore you should train yourself to relax so that you’re not be so amped up all the time.

Meditate, commune with nature, take a silt bath, or do whatever relaxes you days before the day that you need your space and must focus.   That way, when it comes time to really focus, you will be your most relaxed self, because you will know-how.

The bottom line is that focusing is a strategically orchestrated event, for which you must prepare if you are to present your most authentic self.  It nearly requires transformation. 

You may have to shed everything that defined the unfocused you and may be changed in the process.

…But, not to worry.  It will only be for a season.


self timeNeedless to say, you must eliminate worrying about what people think about you, resentment, jealousy, and grief.  These emotions will drain you and may lead you to become depressed.

You will never focus or progress wrapped in your emotions this way.

Getting over emotional distractions is easier than it will be to remain steadfast in attaining your goals and methodical in your execution.

Most visions and goals are life-transforming, such as completing college, saving for a new home, writing a book, starting a business or project, becoming sober, or spiritual awakening.  So, taking dramatic measures is necessary to manifest such lofty goals.

Don’t allow your ego to trick you, as mine did me, into thinking that you can party, maintain lots of friendships, and still reach your goals.  …Bullshit!

You may by exception reach your goals that way, but you will not climb as high, and will likely be a complete mess by the time you get there.

Superstars in achieving their desires, have to isolate some, to get the leg work done.

You will lose or reshape many relationships, as you go through this period.  You will find that most of those relationships had grown incompatible with your goals long ago anyway.  You were just in denial.

If you are lucky, you will have one or two who will accommodate your need for space, and who will likely support you always.

Here’s a list of complementary ideas to establishing your space, and focusing.  The list may not be complete.  I brainstormed and came up with this list today, reflecting on my strategy.    

If you follow these suggestions, I’m confident that you will find yourself in a state of mind, environment, and spirit that’s more conducive to focusing, and succeeding.

  1. Sleep well. Sleep Early:  I suggest that you go to bed very early, say before 8 pm if you can, and wake at about 3:00 am to study, create, and ‘do the damn thing’.  There are rarely any external distractions at this hour.
How Lack Of Sleep Can Affect Your Brain? – 5,103 views – Consumer Health Digest – Published on Feb 10, 2017

Are you facing problems due to lack of sleep? Sleep deprivation has an impact on the brain. Watch out this video to see how a lack of sleep can affect your brain.

  1. Eat well, Eat nutritiously: The foods you eat or don’t eat, affect your brain’s alertness and mood.

How the food you eat affects your brain – Mia Nacamulli – 3,897,801 views – TED-Ed – Published on Jun 21, 2016

View full lesson: http://ed.ted.com/lessons/how-the-foo… When it comes to what you bite, chew, and swallow, your choices have a direct and long-lasting effect on the most powerful organ in your body: your brain. So which foods cause you to feel so tired after lunch? Or so restless at night? Mia Nacamulli takes you into the brain to find out.

  1. Learn to Relax Pray & Meditate: Do this regularly to ask God for and to visualize your success.  Asking God will make you feel as though you and God are partners working on your goal.  Meditation will get you accustomed to relaxing and stillness.
  2. Put Things In Perspective: Your diligence in isolation for a while is not the end of the world!  You will be in this mode for only a season in your life.  You will experience other seasons throughout life, and perhaps this one again.  Life if full of seasons, like winter, spring, summer, and fall.  But, spring always comes.
  3. Select Different Surroundings: Select various environments for performing your work so that the ‘same ole spot’ does not get drab and discouraging.  Study in the park, at a library, at a coffee shop, etc.  Add in a bit of adventure by switching things up.
  4. Prepare and Plan: When you know that you must focus on a major effort, plan for it in advance.  Schedule it on your calendar, sleep and eat well the night before, shut down your cell phone early the night before, and maybe take a relaxing silt bath.  When it is time to get the work done, you will be fresh!
  5. Let Go: You are no longer the social butterfly or ‘player player’, that you once were, especially now that you have visions and dreams in mind.  Accept that!  You must shed all lifestyles and activities that conflict with your goals, and the work you must do to reach them.  Become a more disciplined you.
  6. Visualize the Finished Product In Advance: It costs absolutely nothing to visualize.  Visualize how your work’s end result will look, the compliments you will be receiving, the smiles on your face, and what this accomplishment will lead to.  I always say, “If you can’t see it, you don’t believe it.  And, if you can’t proclaim it, you won’t achieve it.”
  7. Put Friends & Family On Alert: Let those closest to you know of your upcoming unavailability.  Those closest to you are the most difficult ones to turn away.  Do it in advance.
  8. Turn off Your Devices: Get into the habit of turning off your smart devices every day after a certain time.  Alternatively, pick a day(s) during the week where you are smartphone, television, and social media free.  With social media, you can establish virtual relationships.  These are complimentary because you can turn them off and on, simply by logging in or out.
  9. Use Music and Sounds: Music is a very significant part of my day-to-day.  But music can also be distracting if you choose the wrong type.  I choose complementary music and sounds for meditation, prayer, exercise, writing, and analytical tasks.  It is very helpful and builds a melodious wall around my intentions, efforts, and desires.

I use music and sounds in various aspects of my day. I sometimes meditate to music and sounds. Some audio, like iAwake Technologies’, infuse brainwave frequencies in their recordings that target specific desired results.  I listen to these as well.  You may download free audio files on their website.

WHAT ARE BRAINWAVES? – Brainworks – Train Your Mind

At the root of all our thoughts, emotions and behaviors are the communication between neurons within our brains. Brainwaves are produced by synchronized electrical pulses from masses of neurons communicating with each other.

Brainwaves are detected using sensors placed on the scalp. They are divided into bandwidths to describe their functions (below), but are the best thought of as a continuous spectrum of consciousness; from slow, loud, and functional – to fast, subtle, and complex.

It is a handy analogy to think of brainwaves as musical notes – the low-frequency waves are like a deeply penetrating drum beat, while the higher frequency brainwaves are more like a subtle high pitched flute. Like a symphony, the higher and lower frequencies link and cohere with each other through harmonics.   Read More

I listen to gospel music for praise and inspiration, and to reggae and world when I’m in a festive mood.  Music is an instrumental part of my writing regiment.  My process includes doing all of the above suggestions to prepare myself for the day that I will write.  I then take at least one day to reflect on the message, and how it will be delivered.

Then I ‘do the damn thing’, I sit and write.  That’s where the music comes in.  I must have music playing softly in the background.  I usually listen to classical, spa, gospel, or meditation music while I am writing.

On YouTube, there is a large selection of background music for Study, Focus, and opening your 3rd eye.  I’ve provided a few samples for you below, but there is a plethora out there, for free.

Productivity Music | Focus Music with Binaural Beats, Study Music for Better Concentration – 11,675 views – Greenred Productions – Relaxing Music – Published on Aug 20, 2018

Productivity Music | Focus Music with Binaural Beats, Study Music for Better Concentration. Our Channel: https://goo.gl/3SShgg

Study Music Alpha Waves: Relaxing Studying Music, Brain Power, Focus Concentration Music, ☯161 – 90,172,101 views – YellowBrickCinema – Relaxing Music – Published on Jun 26, 2014Study Music Alpha Waves: Relaxing Studying Music, Brain Power, Focus Concentration Music, ☯161 – YellowBrickCinema’s Study Music & Concentration Music is ideal background music to help you to study, concentrate, focus and work more effectively. This Study and Focus Music is ideal instrumental music to help you study, focus, and relax before that big test or exam.

Meditation Music for Concentration and Focus, Positive Energy, Relax Mind Body, Reiki | Ocean Music – 132,613 views – Relaxing Music – Published on Sep 7, 2015Meditation Music for Concentration and Focus. Ocean Music for Meditation for positive energy, relax mind-body, sleep and relaxation. Peaceful, Calm, Relaxing Healing Music. I hope you find inner peace through meditation and it relaxes your mind and body.

Mozart Classical Music for Studying, Concentration, Relaxation | Study Music | Piano Instrumental – 4,089,805 views – Just Instrumental Music – Published on Oct 9, 2017

3 Hours of some of the best classical music for studying and concentration by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. It is the perfect relaxing instrumental music for studying and better learning to focus and it is also great classical piano music to study, concentrate, writing, or working in an office. Use this classical music for relaxation and reading or as study music for exams and study time.

Relaxing Music for Deep Sleep. Alpha Waves. Increase Creativity, Stress Relief – 1,358,319 views – Meditation Relax Music – Published on Aug 10, 2015

Meditation Relax Music Channel presents Relaxing Music for Deep Sleep. Alpha Waves. Use this specially created music to Increase Creativity, Reduce Stress, during deep sleeping, insomnia. Also, it is excellent as a background for Meditation, Yoga, Calm Massage, and Pregnancy. Totally relax your mind and body and heal your soul. Alpha waves are neural oscillations in the frequency range of 7.5–12.5 Hz [1] arising from the synchronous and coherent (in-phase or constructive) electrical activity of thalamic pacemaker cells in humans. They are also called Berger’s wave in memory of the founder of EEG.

Theta Waves ➤ Positive Creative Energy Music | Binaural Beat 4.5Hz Deep Relaxation Meditation Music – 92,891 views – PowerThoughts Meditation Club – Published on Nov 24, 2016

Theta Waves ➤ Positive Creative Energy Music | Binaural Beat 4.5Hz Deep Relaxation Meditation Music.

3 Hour Focus Music: Study Music, Alpha Waves, Calming Music, Concentration Music, ☯465 – 15,666,583 views – YellowBrickCinema – Relaxing Music – Published on Nov 19, 2014

3 Hour Focus Music: Study Music, Alpha Waves, Calming Music, Concentration Music, ☯465 – YellowBrickCinema’s Study Music & Concentration Music is ideal background music to help you to study, concentrate, focus and work more effectively. This Study and Focus Music is ideal instrumental music to help you study, focus, and relax before that big test or exam. Our Studying Music for concentration uses alpha waves and binaural beats to boost concentration and brainpower and is the ideal relaxing music for stress relief.

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3 thoughts on “Excuse Me, But I Need Space: To Study, Create, and Fulfill My Dharma

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  3. Some good tips, we don’t take the time we need often enough – I’ve been reading Sangharakshita’s “Living with Awareness; a guide to the Sathipattana Sutta” – I strongly recommend it. Covers a lot of the themes that I think you’d find interesting given this article

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