…Those Things You Cannot Change – Embracing UR Inner I.I.W.I.I. – Because It Is What It Is

“We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” – Carl Jung

I really hate when people say ‘It is what it is’. I makes me cringe when I hear it.

The people that I know who use this phrase, use it repeatedly. It’s almost like they don’t have an opinion. Nearly everything I say to them, they say ‘It is what it is’. Surely everything can’t be relegated to the same five word response.

I see excessive use of this term as a dodge. It is a convenient way to avoid discussion. That aggravates me because I like to encourage dialogue. There is always something for me to learn, even from those with whom I do not agree.

Though I don’t like use of the phrase, I do understand the sentiment. I sometimes share the same feeling, but I don’t always express it. I keep it to myself.

I used to think that every problem had a solution, and that there was always an approach to conflicts that could defuse it. In a sense, I guess I thought that I could save the world. After trying this approach on some of my problems, and sincerely seeking solutions from every possible angle, I have come to accept that some things will never change. Some people will never change. It is what it is.

My stepsister Paige, has a policy of ‘killing them with kindness’. She is sincere in this strategy. Under no circumstance will she treat a person ugly or mean, even if they deserve it. I am not sure, but she may even be kind to people that she despises. I can’t do that, though I used to.

The ‘kill ‘em with kindness’ and the ‘catch more flies with honey’ strategies seem to imply that kindness will change the situation or person. It will, but only some of the time.

In many cases, no matter how kind you are, the person or situation will not budge. In some cases we are wasting our time investing energy in a hopeless cause. For me, in those situations, I just accept that ‘it is what it is’. I tried the alternative and found myself broken, hurt, and disappointed too many times.

In accepting these situations, I back away from them, ultimately eliminating that energy from my life. I usually don’t announce this move with a cliché statement. I just do it in my mind, and quietly disappear into the sunset.

I am constantly evaluating whether people or things illuminate my aura or not. If not, see ya! I no longer waste a lot of time trying to get things to change, that often never will change.

Though the kindness strategy may seem more loving, I assure you that under my approach I never stop spreading love. I simply spread it elsewhere, where receptivity is clearly apparent.

“We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell

My approach is very analogous to my presence on Facebook. I share love-inspired posts, but sometimes get hate in return. I don’t try to convert these ‘friends’ into loving children of God. Often I do not respond to them. I simply Unfriend, Block, and Report them. Then I proceed to searching profiles for new ‘friends’ who appear to be more compatible, based on their friends and posts.

In life, it is much the same. I accept that there are hateful people out there. It is what it is.

I don’t try to change them, or allow them to try to change me. I simply move on. I appreciate the encounters though, for with each encounter, it reveals to me who I am. Meeting that which I am not, defines who I really am.

As my blog and social media presence is expanding, I have also encountered several ‘friends’ from my past. I extended to them very warmly and kindly, but they often don’t respond to me, or respond negatively. I do not know why. I don’t try to find out anymore either. I used to rack my brain in attempts to figure out what I’ve done to people in my past, but to no avail.

There are other cases whereby complete strangers do not like me. Again, for no reason. It is just my aura that seems to clash with theirs.

I have grown wiser to accept that not everyone will like me. It is what it is.

I no longer go after them, try to make them love me, as I used to do. That shit got me in trouble in the early 2000’s. Trying to get folks to like me and accept me led me into many mistakes, namely drugs, and being manipulated.

Yesterday, I reflected on those things that I accept that I cannot change.

I developed a list in my mind of those things where I embrace my inner IIVII (It is what it is), and move on.

Though I hate to hear the phrase, is really ‘Is what it is’ and many aspects of my life.

I have listed my IIWII’s below. Why not reflect on yours.

“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you’re in and take advantage of it.” – Nikki Giovanni

  1. ‘It Is What It Is’:

    • Some people will not like me, even if for no reason at all. Some think I’m crazy, and I will never please them.
  2. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • I am getting older mentally and physically. I’m not going to live forever. I cannot do all the things I used to, and I am aging.
  3. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Sometime I will have to surrender to circumstances, preferably surrendering to God and not man.
  4. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • I have made mistakes that I cannot change, but from which I can grow.
  5. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Some people will never let me outgrow my past mistakes and will use them against me.
  6. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Many will not accept or believe in my spiritual transformation and my miraculous healing.
  7. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • People Lie, Cheat, and Deceive, not matter how holy they present themselves. Everybody’s looking for something.
  8. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • No one knows who God really is. Not me, not anyone. No one is more holy that I am.
  9. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Some people will always remain blind to wisdom. I will never reach them. You cannot teach spirit
  10. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Some relationships are superficial and will dissolve when I am in dire straits
  11. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • My ego is not my friend and will lead me to do the hell what I want to, until it is contained in my mistakes.
  12. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Everything that happens, has already happened before. Seasons permeate through all life experiences: relationships, spirit, career, current events, and love.
  13. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Some ‘sit in the cut’ watching and waiting for me to fall. Some people are jealous and will not change.
  14. ‘It Is What It Is’:
    • Technology is changing rapidly and we may be becoming more impersonal, but I can’t stop technology from advancing, politicians from lying, propaganda from spreading, or the fake-faithful from deceiving.
“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

11 Things That Will Never Change in Life (No Matter How Hard You Try) – Buckle up for a reality check –
By Larry Kim – CEO of Mobile Monkey, Inc

There’s a lot in life you just can’t change.

  1. You’re accountable to someone.
  2. You’re not going to live forever.
  3. You can’t please everyone.
  4. You’ll never catch up to the Joneses.
  5. Holding that grudge is never going to have the effect you’re hoping for.
  6. Similarly, you can’t control what someone else thinks.
  7. Yesterday is over. You can’t get it back.
  8. The world… nope, you can’t change it.
  9. Where you came from.
  10. Nothing is ever really private anymore.
  11. You can’t get back what you’ve lost.

Read More

Things You Can Change Vs Things You Can’t – By Chelsea Fagan, October 26th 2012
  1. What You Can’t Change: You cannot make someone be more interested in you or care for you more than they do.
  2. What You Can’t Change: You cannot change the person your boss is
  3. What You Can’t Change:You cannot make someone be attracted to you who simply isn’t.
  4. What You Can’t Change:You can’t make your body be naturally predisposed to a different shape.
  5. What You Can’t Change:You can’t go over budget every month and still manage to save the money you need to have some security.
  6. What You Can’t Change:You can’t please everyone — you probably can’t even please most people.

Read More

Five Things We Cannot Changeby David Richo – January 28, 2012

As a psychotherapist working with clients — and in my own life as a practicing Buddhist — I have seen the same questions and struggles arise again and again. There are five unavoidable givens, five immutable facts of life built into the very nature of things, over which we are powerless:

  1. Everything changes and ends.
  2. Things do not always go according to plan.
  3. Life is not always fair.
  4. Pain is part of life.
  5. People are not loving and loyal all the time.

Too often we behave as if somehow these givens aren’t always in effect or are not applicable to all of us. But when we oppose these five basic truths we resist reality, and life becomes an endless series of disappointments, frustrations, and sorrows. Once we learn to accept and embrace these fundamental facts, however, we come to realize that they are exactly what we need to gain courage, compassion, and wisdom — in short, to find real happiness.

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Accepting the things we cannot change – MENTAL HEALTH AND WELLNESS – MELISSA WHEELER MSSA, LISW-S

So how do we practice radical acceptance of difficult events that take place in our lives?

  • Write down in a journal the cycles that keep continuing in your life, what causes distress and what you feel is out of your control.
  • Look at your list a week later. Has it changed? Review the items in your list that haven’t changed.
  • Repeat this for several days.
  • The following week, look at each item on your list individually and ask yourself, “Is there something I can do about this?”
  • There will be some things that you cannot change.
  • For the ones that you can do something about, develop options for change.
  • Making a list of pros and cons can be helpful when making decisions or changes. Talk to your friends and family members. Sometimes once something is said out loud, we already know our own answer.
  • Once you make a decision to change something, start to take baby steps in that direction.
  • Don’t forget to look back and see the progress you made.

In life there are things we can change, and some we cannot. The first step to well-being is to recognize that and radically accept, “what is.”

Read More

The Serenity Prayer – 161,319 views – Prayerscapes – Published on Oct 4, 2013

http://www.prayerscapes.com present “The Serenity Prayer”, a three-fold prayer to God asking for his serenity, courage, and wisdom, accompanied by images of distant constellations and galaxies. The music to this film is entitled “Eternity” and is taken from the meditative instrumental album “Rhythms of Grace” by Prayerscapes, available here http://www.prayerscapes.com/music/ins…

Parable of the Farmer and the Horse: How to Accept Situations You Can’t Change – 79 views – Gwun Chin – Published on Jul 4, 2018

Gwun Chin shares the parable of the farmer and the horse, which is a great lesson in how to accept situations you can’t change.

How to Accept the Things You Cannot Change | Cheryl Hunter – 3,942 views – Cheryl Hunter – Published on Sep 8, 2016

http://www.cherylhunter.com/how-to-ac… go-to expert on resilience, bestselling author Cheryl Hunter was just a teenager when she was abducted by two criminals who eventually left her for dead. Cheryl survived this life-changing trauma, refocused her life, and found freedom. In the process, she created an educational framework that empowers anyone to overcome adversity.

How to Accept What You Can’t Change (Law of Attraction!) Powerful! – 36,473 views – Infinite Waters (Diving Deep) – Published on Jan 29, 2018

Get Infinite Waters Clothing Now: https://goo.gl/JYV7TV

Music Videos

Lifehouse – It Is What It Is – 131,908 views – korbol88 – Published on May 15, 2010

Lifehouse – It Is What It Is Kup/Buy it! http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/it-i… The Notebook (Pamiętnik)

Highwaymen– It Is What It Is – 21,045 views – misterfujior – Published on Nov 11, 2009

Lecrae – It Is What it is (@Lecrae @ReachRecords) – 350,024 views – Reach Records – Published on Feb 8, 2016

iTunes – http://lecrae.cta.gs/cc3

Lil’ Nathan & The Zydeco Big Timers – It Is What It Is (Live) – 216,455 views – LilNathanVEVO – Published on Jun 6, 2015

It Is What It Is “Live Performance” Lil Nathan & The Zydeco Big Timers L.L.C.

IT IS WHAT IT IS – Mahogany LOX (Official lyric video ) 2018 – 40,732 views – Mahogany LOX – Published on Jan 12, 2018

I hope you guys are enjoying my new single “IT IS WHAT IT IS” you can download/ stream it anywhere!!

Kacey Musgraves – It Is What It Is (Acoustic) – 678,766 views – XTU Philadelphia – Published on Aug 17, 2012

Kacey Musgraves is a new artist and amazingly talented. She dropped by 92.5 XTU Philadelphia’s Country Station and graced us with some songs to expect from her upcoming album. See her here before she’s famous!

Uncle Kracker It Is What It Is Lyrics – 37,310 views – Lalo Landaverde – Published on Jan 26, 2013

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3 thoughts on “…Those Things You Cannot Change – Embracing UR Inner I.I.W.I.I. – Because It Is What It Is

  1. Pingback: I Learned The Wisdom of Acceptance Vs Surrender By Sitting Under A Tree! – 7 Days 7+ Quotes – Acceptance – Life, As Kevy Michaels

  2. Anonymous

    Surrender to God completely he will carry you when he feels the absolute need when those who ARE contrary to HIM,attempt to prevent individuals from being in God’s Holy Spirit.

    an awesome factual realistic and truthful song by,
    Donny Hathaway

    1. There’s one of my favorite quotes about change that I couldn’t locate.

      I searched, but couldn’t find it. So I will paraphrase.

      Everything must change, after awhile, even the mountains surrender to the sea.

      I am a changed man. God has carried me over many bridges, including the bridges of: Fear, Faith, Sickness, Drugs, Betrayal, and Self-Love, to name a few.

      No one has power to take me out of God’s light…no one. I am trying to get closer everyday.

      I have developed a tremendous backbone and spirit through my trials.

      I tell my story because I’ve been anointed with the ability to express myself.

      Many people could benefit from hearing all I wish to share.


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